Behind your words
by superstrawberryness
Summary: Remus can't sleep, as just below in in the common room, Sirius Black is on a date, and it's preying on his mind.


If it hadn't been firmly pressed into him a long time ago that it was rude and vulgar to swear, Remus Lupin would have taken this opportunity to scream the worst word he knew. Ironically this was 'damn', but Remus refrained anyway. Sometimes he thought he had far too much self-control for a werewolf, sometimes he thought this aspect of him was the precise reason he hadn't been found out yet. Well, apart from a few likeminded teenage boys: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black. The best friends Remus had ever had. Not that he was ever going to tell them that, of course. James' ego was big enough already, Peter would latch onto him like a leech, and Sirius…well, he wouldn't have the nerve to say it to Sirius. Sirius was the reason he was sitting wide awake on his four-poster bed in the middle of the night, listening intently, and restraining himself remarkably from shouting the word 'damn'.

A noise startled him, but it was just the vague hoot of an owl from outside. Damn Owls, thought Remus. Damn, he thought again, I just thought the word damn. Frustrated, he pulled the curtains around him open, and got out of bed. A thought struck him suddenly, he could borrow James' cloak. He knew where James kept it. Careful not to make a sound he knelt down to the bed next to his. Reaching out nervously (you never could be sure what was under James' bed) he felt the silky cool touch of it brush his hand. After draping it over his body, he headed down the dormitory stairs.

Sirius was sat in one of the big chairs by the fire, his hair smouldering with the reflection of it. Melissa McNeil was sat opposite to him, a stony expression on her face, arms folded tightly. Remus felt a pang of guilt, spying on his friends was not something he'd like to make a habit of. Melissa sighed noisily. Sirius gave her a cold look.

"What?" He snapped, "What is it?" Melissa rolled her eyes at him.

"Why ask me out for _yet_ another date if you're not going to talk to me?" She asked. Not very politely, thought Remus, who himself had now taken a seat, watching the two Griffindors. Sirius didn't flinch at her question.

"I didn't ask you out to talk to you. If I'd wanted an interesting chat I would've asked out Moony." Remus squirmed uncomfortably. Melissa's gaze was suddenly devoid of anger, her arms unfolded; she lent towards Sirius and whispered, with a half smile on her face:

"Maybe you should, Sirius…" And with that she got up and walked up the girls dormitory stairs without a backward glance. Remus was frozen to the chair, hardly daring to breathe. Sirius bit his lip, and threw his head into his hands. Unexpectedly, Remus felt a sudden pang of emotion in his chest. He longed to go to him, but made for the boy's stairs instead.

"Hold it." A sudden voice behind him. Sirius had got up and was glaring at the spot where Remus was standing. "James?" Remus felt his heart beating fanatically in his ears. "James, if that's you take off your cloak now. I mean it!"

"It's _me_ Sirius." Remus said in a very quiet voice. The room seemed to be buzzing. There was a pause, in which Remus let down the cloak to reveal himself. The anger in Sirius' eyes seemed to physically bore through him, causing him to look away sharply.

"Spying on me are you?" There was something in the way Sirius said this that made Remus throat hurt and his eyes sting. Feeble excuses dripped from his lips.

"Pads…I couldn't sleep- didn't want to disturb you- on my way out that is…"

"Say what you want Moony, I can't be bothered with this now." The taller boy sank into a near armchair, and dug his hands into his hair. There was silence. Finally Remus spoke.

"I'm sorry. About you and Melissa I mean." Deciding he couldn't take any more, Remus turned and made his way back up the stairs, only to stop dead at the noise he heard from behind him. It couldn't be…could it? Sirius Black…crying? Making a quick U-turn, he practically ran to his friend, and knelt before him.

"Sirius? Sirius, please, I can't bear this. Melissa didn't mean it, I know she didn't…" But Sirius choked on a sob, retching with all the passion of his dog-form.

"Do you really think," He started, sore red eyes meeting Remus' own, "Do you really think this is about her?" As though seeing some answer in Remus' eyes, he laughed softly.

"You heard what she said to me. She knows me better then I know myself." Remus bit his quivering lip.

"Do you love her Padfoot?" He whispered. Sirius put his hands on his friend's own hands.

"That's not the point at all." Sirius breathed. The air between them seemed to be thick. Remus felt sure if he put out a hand he would be able to touch it. This feeling. The feeling that usually hung dormant, but now was most defiantly alive. His hand twitched.

"Sorry." Sirius exclaimed, jumping up suddenly. He laughed a bit too loudly "God… if James could see us now eh? Looking like a pair of girls, we are Moony!" Remus got up from the floor slowly, eyes on the ground.

"Sirius…what did you…"

"Night mate." Sirius interjected. He faltered suddenly "I, I…" he stuttered, eyes on Remus, then: "I hope you sleep well."

He left Remus alone, head spinning, trying to interpret the meaning behind a few words he had heard a million times before.

"Night Padfoot." Was what he said.


End file.
